Child & Family Wellbeing
What Is Behaviour?
Behaviour is simply how we act and respond to the world around us. For children, this includes everything from how they play, talk, and move, to how they react in different situations. From the moment they’re born, children begin learning about how the world works-and every child is different. They each have their own personality, and their ability to manage emotions depends on their age, stage of development, and individual experiences.
As children grow, they start to understand how their actions affect themselves and others. Learning to understand their feelings and behaviour is a big part of growing up. It’s not something that happens overnight-it takes time, support, and lots of practice. Our role as adults is to guide them gently as they learn these important life skills.
You have probably heard the team ‘challenging behaviour’. It is normal for children to sometimes exhibit challenging behaviour, such as behaving or expressing big emotions. If we look at behaviour through the lens of wellbeing, we begin to understand that all behaviour is a form of communication. It reflects a child’s internal state-how safe, regulated, and connected they feel. Instead of seeing the behaviour as something to “fix,” we can view it as a signal that the child may need support, understanding, or help in developing skills to navigate their feelings and social situations with greater ease.
Understanding Challenging Behaviour
Sometimes what we see as challenging behaviour is actually a normal part of a child’s development. It’s important to ask ourselves: Are my expectations realistic for my child’s age and stage? Children are still learning how to manage their emotions, communicate their needs, and understand the world around them. How we interpret a child’s behaviour often depends on what we believe about how children should behave. That’s why it’s helpful to look at behaviour through the lens of development and wellbeing. What might seem challenging to us could simply be a child expressing themselves in the only way they know how right now. When we adjust our expectations to match where children are developmentally, we’re better able to support them with patience and understanding.
For example, a 2-year-old might hit or bite other children. While this behaviour can be upsetting, it’s actually a normal part of early development. Some might believe that biting a child back will teach them not to bite, but what the child learns in that moment is confusion (you bit me so it’s ok to bite). Young children learn best through experience, by watching how adults behave, and by testing boundaries in safe and supported ways. Our role as adults is to guide them gently, helping them understand what’s okay and what’s not, while showing them how to express themselves in more appropriate ways.
Understanding your child’s behaviour can sometimes feel overwhelming, but there are simple, everyday strategies that can make a big difference. Here are some practical tips to help support and guide your child’s behaviour in a positive way:
- Show the behaviour you want to see: Children are always watching and learning from us. When we speak kindly, stay calm, and treat others with respect, they’re more likely to do the same.
- Create routines and structure: Having a predictable daily rhythm helps children feel safe and secure. At the same time, it’s okay to be flexible when needed-every child and every day is different.
- Keep instructions simple and clear: Use short, age-appropriate phrases so your child knows what’s expected. This helps reduce confusion and sets them up for success.
- Be consistent: When you respond to behaviours the same way each time, your child learns what’s okay and what’s not. This builds trust and helps them feel more secure.
- Celebrate the positives: Notice and praise the behaviours you want to see more of. Be specific-say things like, “I love how you packed away your toys!” rather than just “Good job.” High fives, smiles, and claps go a long way too!
- Use natural or logical consequences: When a child makes a mistake, help them learn from it. For example, if they draw on the wall, they can help clean it up. This teaches responsibility in a calm and respectful way.
- Think about what might be going on underneath the behaviour: Is your child tired, hungry, or feeling overwhelmed? Sometimes a simple need is driving the behaviour, and a small adjustment can make a big difference.
- Be kind to your child – and to yourself: Big emotions can be hard for little ones to manage, and they can be tough for parents too. When things get elevated, take a breath, stay calm, and be the safe, steady presence your child needs.
Helping your child build positive behaviour takes time, patience, and lots of love. These strategies aren’t about being perfect-they’re about creating a supportive environment where your child feels safe to learn, grow, and thrive. And when things feel too hard or confusing, it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not alone.
Supporting and Guiding Children’s Behaviour Resources
For additional resources on supporting and guiding behaviour for younger children please visit:
https://www.rch.org.au/kidsinfo/fact_sheets/challenging_behaviour_toddlers_and_young_children/
For additional resources on supporting and guiding behaviour for older children please visit:
https://www.rch.org.au/kidsinfo/fact_sheets/Challenging_behaviour_school_aged_children/
Cindy Woolley
EMPLOYEE WELLBEING MANAGER